I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
