We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
