508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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