I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
