New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
