you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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