Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
