I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
