One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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