Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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