I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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