Can i not drive my cunt home
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
