I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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