So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
