To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
MIDGETS
????
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize