If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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