You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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