I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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