Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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