Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
