I'm lost and stupid without you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize