Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
