Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
