Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
