billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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