hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
