Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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