You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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