I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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