how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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