I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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