Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize