My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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