how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
