remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
