ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
