Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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