This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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