I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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