At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize