LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
