3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
