Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
