The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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