he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
