Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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