ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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