Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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