im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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