I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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