also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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