Ambien. No doubt about it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
