pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
