Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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