thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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