So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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